Christian marriage

Posted: July 27, 2013 in christian living, ecclesia, Jesus

Colossians 3:12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them…

Instructions for Christian marriage do not begin at verse 18, they begin at verse 12. Every instruction given to us on how to behave towards other believers applies equally to our believing spouses. They are our brother or sister in Christ, not just spouse by marriage covenant. From that place of truth the special relationship of being husband and wife can really flourish. On top of our relationship as brethren, as husband and wife we belong to each other, our bodies are not your own, two flesh become one. We represent Jesus and the Church as a married Christian couple.

Beyond the instructions to be tenderhearted, compassionate, and patient with one another the single piece of practical advise I would give to any Christian couple is do not let the sun set on your anger. If you go to bed angry with your spouse you might as well just pray to the devil and invite him to have a foothold in your life. Cut to the chase and just verbally invite the devil to sleep in the bed between you and your spouse if you are going to go to bed angry. Invite him to corrupt your thoughts and plant seeds of bitterness or hopelessness in your mind, to undo the work of Christ in you and your family. That is just about what you do when you go to bed angry with your spouse. It may not appear that any damage has been done at the time, but if the issue is left to fester, it will do such terrible damage to you and your marriage in a subtle way.

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil … Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

At any cost, do not go to bed angry with your spouse brethren!

  1. fleebabylon says:

    Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

    Brothers, Pray the Lord would make you the man who your wife can easily submit to as to the Lord. Show her as much mercy as the Lord has shown you. Be patient with her as the Lord has been patient with you. Give yourself for her even if her attitude or disposition does not warrant it at the time, just as the Lord likewise gave himself for you when you were far worse off. Do not burden her to submit to you in any area that the Lord does not specifically call for and be patient and graceful even if you are sure the issue is right in the Lord.

    Jesus is not a cruel task master, he gives us grace to do what he calls us to do. How much more so should us brothers who struggle in the flesh be careful to lead our wives gracefully in much fear and trembling. They are daughters of the God of heaven and earth and I think he is pretty jealous for his daughters and how their husbands treat them.

    Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.

    Sisters, remember that many of us did not grow up in Christian homes, it is an amazing work of God that we can exhibit any Christ likeness at all to our wives. Pray that your husband would be conformed into the image of Christ and represent him well to you in your marriage. Pray that your own heart will be soft and willing to yield to your Godly husband as to the Lord. This flies in stark contrast to the feminist spirit of the age but by the grace of God it is possible.

    1Peter 3:5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

  2. amongtheforgotten says:

    Thanks Jim. As much as we hear this or that truth spoken about in countless venues and upon these sites, I don’t even remember the last time a brother wrote or commented upon the necessity of living properly amidst this vital relationship.
    People see and hear exactly how much we care for those among us- especially our spouses.

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